The Wall of Shame

This page is reserved specifically for those who have explicitly turned down an invitation to contribute to Giraffes Drawn By People Who Should Not Be Drawing Giraffes. While I do not encourage any public shaming of these individuals, it does hurt me on a personal level knowing that there are folks in the world willing to spit in the face of the editorial board. Yet even as I complain I know that every great movement has its resistance.

1. Betty from Mt. Rushmore. March 2011. More information will come when the “National Park Ranger Giraffe” goes online, but she knows what she did.

2. U.S. Congressman Collin Peterson (MN-7). April 2011. To read more visit the post about US Senator Al Franken.

3. Pulitzer-Prize Winning Poet Gary Snyder. April 18, 2011. Read about the incident at “Poet and Author Robert Bly (And the Gary Snyder Incident).”

4. Minnesota Orchestra Conductor Osmo Vanska. April 2011. More information will come when Principal Trumpet of the Minnesota Orchestra Manny Laureano’s giraffe goes online.

5. Former MN Governor and Conspiracy Theorist Jesse Ventura. June 2011. When approached at a book signing for 63 Documents the Government Doesn’t Want You To Read in Rosedale, MN, his reply was a simple, “I don’t know what a giraffe looks like.” No comment.

6. Gender Theorist Michael Kimmel. October 27, 2011. An organization I am a part of brought to the University of Minnesota-Morris campus for a public lecture and even though I had chatted with the guy, had dinner with him and guided him around he told me that he would not contribute to the blog because his drawing would be “pretty awful.” He wouldn’t listen to my pleas that that was the point.

7. Author Peter S. Beagle. June 2014. Beagle wrote the beautiful book, The Last Unicorn (1968). When I met him at Houston’s ComicPalooza, both his handler (?) and I harassed him for twenty minutes but he never budged. I left him my card and email but have yet to hear from him. Maybe someday …

8. Author and Producer Ann DruyanSeptember 2014. Druyan was one of the minds behind the famous Voyager I probe and wife of the late astronomer Carl Sagan. Now, this Wall of Shame entry comes with a caveat: She was short on time and she did blow me off to go hang out with Carl Sagan’s sister (who was beside me). Even so, a few days later I wrote her a letter, which has yet to be answered.

3 thoughts on “The Wall of Shame

  1. Andrew Showalter

    I don’t know how we put people on the Wall of Shame, but that angry old lady from Chipotle deserves a spot.

  2. Mel

    Don’t be too tough on Michael Kimmel, he may be like me. Too embarrassed to draw anything for anyone to see. Been like this since childhood. Every class assignment where I had to do any artistic work struck cold fear in my heart. I can give a speech to an audience of hundreds, but ask me to draw a zoo animal and I will quake in my boots.

    However, after viewing the giraffes on this site, I think I’ve changed. I gave myself 30 seconds to draw one, and it ain’t half bad. So thanks to all the those brave enough to contribute…you’ve helped me shake off my self-imposed limitations.


    (The whole commentary on how “Bob’s Horse” went down cracked me up.)


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